MUSINGS && TOTAL ABANDON
MUSINGS
Are my friends true? What do they see in me that made them befriend me? Will we be friends forever, or will something suddenly come up and test our bond? Will we meet again after we finish college? Will they still remember me? Will I even remember them?
Is there such a thing as soulmates? Who will be my husband? How will he look like? Will I fall in love with some superstah kinda guy with the Adonis looks and all that, or fall for the simple guy with the broken tooth and fetish for jellyfishing? Maybe I would, maybe I wouldn’t. I don’t know. A relationship is not my priority as of the moment. I mean, yeah of course I’m curious how it feels to have a boyfriend and all that but am I really ready?
Will I be bad? Or worse, evil? Could I actually kill a person? How does it feel to kill a person? I think I’m capable of killing a person. If only it were not against the law and religion. I mean, crap.
Do my friends backbite me? What do they say?
Is my life right now also a dream? Just like Tom Cruise’s film, Vanilla Sky?
In my next life, what or who will I be? I mean, is there a next life? Where the hell would we go? I shudder even at the thought of it. I swear. I ain’t kidding. No matter how hard I try to simulate how it would feel like when we die, I just couldn’t think or come up with the exact feeling of being non-existent.
TOTAL ABANDON
Fall.
I let myself fall into the abyss of
Broken wings
Lead me somewhere.
I just don’t
Know
Where.
Blinded -
Am
I
Surrender myself in total abandon
To no one else
But
You.
